8:19 AM
and when all the hype's over, when the balloons have risen. when the streamers float down and the records stop playing, i remind myself that my life is my responsibility. it is no one's duty to make sure i pick myself up when i fall, that i get back on the right path when i stray. i slap myself with the reality that i have no right to expect my journey to be forever cushioned by the continual pacifying of others. it is after all an imbalance to expect others to reach out and pull me back when i have decided to walk away.
i wax lyrical in my mind all day, but even more when i think of you, and you, and you. i think of the past and the present, of the lessons and the mistakes. of the have beens and the could haves, the fading mark of a coffee stain. and as the swirls of the aromatic java beans rise up in beautiful tapestry of fluids, i can only pray that i remember that my life, is my responsibility. that at the end of the day, i choose how to live, what to say, how to breathe.
and as i learn to take in the lessons of life, i use my finger to scribble the names of my angels on the sparkly stars. when i look up at night, i get reminded of the people who light up my life.
i blow a kiss that dissipates under the cool evening breeze, and i pray that i'm living life the right way. because when i leave, i want to add one more sparkle of silver in the big dark sky. evidence, of a life worth living.